The prohibition trap: Why isolating teenagers from their first relationships sabotages their emotional maturation
Researchers followed thousands of Chinese students for a year and found that simply entering a romantic relationship increased the risk of developing suicidal thoughts by 54% in certain cases. Banning relationships doesn't help. Ignoring them, much less.
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Parents and teachers often live under the impression that forbidding teenagers from romantic relationships will protect them from suffering and help them focus exclusively on school, Chinese researchers point out. It is an old conviction, deeply rooted in many families, which starts from the sincere desire to ensure a future free of disappointments for their children.
The latest studies suggest that this approach can have negative effects. Suicide remains one of the leading causes of death among young people worldwide, and specialists have been trying for years to understand exactly what pushes these children to such a tragic decision, in order to be able to intervene in time.
Adolescence is an extremely difficult time anyway, when young people go through huge physical and emotional changes, try to discover their identity and find their place in the world. Managing an intimate relationship requires high levels of emotional regulation and communication skills that many teenagers are still developing. According to the researchers, the intense stress generated by relationship conflicts or a sudden breakup can quickly become overwhelming for a young person who has not been through this before.
To better understand the impact of these relationships on mental health, researchers followed thousands of students in China for a year. The study, published in the Journal of Adolescence and conducted by Zhen-Zhen Liu, Cun-Xian Jia and Xianchen Liu, looked directly at the link between the beginning or end of a relationship and the occurrence of suicidal thoughts.
The choice of China was not accidental. Unlike many Western countries, where teenage romantic relationships are generally accepted, here they are frequently discouraged or even banned during middle and high school. According to the study, parents and teachers often label these relationships as “early love” and fear they will distract students from intense academic competition.
In this context, say the researchers, cited by Psy Post, starting a relationship can come with a high level of stress and the need to keep it a secret, which further complicates the emotional balance of teenagers.
How the study was conducted
The study looked at more than 11,000 middle and high school students, with an average age of about 15. Final year students were not included, precisely to avoid exam pressure influencing the results.
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Teens were asked directly if they had started a relationship or gone through a breakup in the past year, but also if they had had suicidal thoughts, made plans, or tried to take their own life. In parallel, the researchers also took into account the family situation, in order to separate the influence of relationships from other factors as clearly as possible.
A year later, more than 7,000 of the same students were assessed again, which allowed the specialists to see how things had evolved over time.
The numbers are worrying
The results show clear differences between teenagers who have been through recent romantic experiences and those who have not. Students who had started a relationship or gone through a breakup more frequently reported suicidal thoughts, and in some cases went so far as to plan or even attempt suicide.
The most important observation was made in adolescents who had no previous suicidal thoughts or behaviors. For them, starting a relationship was associated with a 54 percent increased risk of suicidal thoughts, and the likelihood of a suicide attempt doubled in the following year, according to the study. The researchers cannot say exactly why this happens, but they suggest that, in the social context analyzed, pressure, emotional stress and the need to hide the relationship may play an important role.
Another important aspect highlighted by the study concerns when a relationship begins. Data shows that this period comes with a higher risk for adolescents, especially those who have not previously experienced suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
In other words, the changes that come with entering a relationship can have a strong impact on a teenager's emotional balance.
The study also looked at differences between girls and boys. In general, girls reported more suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and the link with romantic relationships appeared stronger for them. However, the differences were not large enough to indicate a clearly different risk between girls and boys.
Banning teenagers from relationships does not solve the problem. It just makes them hide what is happening to them. Researchers show that things can be managed better if adults are present in their emotional lives and willing to talk openly with them. Teenagers need to understand what is happening to them and have someone to turn to when problems arise.
So the results suggest that parents and schools should rethink their approach to adolescent relationships. Instead of banning them, they could provide education about healthy relationships and emotional support, thereby preventing serious consequences.
Relationships are part of our lives, regardless of the rules. The difference is whether teenagers go through them alone or with support.
