Play, the antidote to the fear of failure. How to stay curious in a world that punishes you

In a world where the adult is always in a hurry to have answers, the child remains the only one who asks questions. Here, in fact, one sees the distance between curiosity and routine, between amazement and control. As time goes by, we learn more, but we wonder less.

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“As we mature, we lose that innocent curiosity, the ease of trying without fear of failure, the creativity born from these actions. As adults, we often censor what we think or do, for fear of being judged, of being wrong, or perhaps because of the consequences.” clinical psychologist Luminița Tăbăran explains for “Adevărul”.

From a psychological perspective, the concept of “beginner's mind” it refers to the ability to observe the world without prejudice, with openness and curiosity. “The mind learns through experience and we often adopt previous successful solutions and behaviors to new situations. Simply, for a new situation, the mind looks for the model with the greatest similarity and adopts the solution that in the past resulted in success, but nothing guarantees a positive result, and even failure can occur”explains the psychologist.

The adult mindset, she says, should be guided not by fear, but by passion and the natural acceptance of mistakes. “The adult mindset should be guided by passions and embracing failure as an integral part of the learning process. The innocence of the child within us can only be manifested through authenticity and spontaneity, freed from stereotyped mental responses or the expectations of others.”

Play: medicine for mind and body

In psychology, “play” experiences are no longer seen as a simple escape from everyday life, but as a form of emotional regulation and restoration of inner balance. “Recent studies demonstrate that play experiences have therapeutic effects, reducing stress and restoring emotional balance by releasing endorphins and stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system,” specifies Luminița Tăbăran.

Fun activities not only bring relaxation, but a real impact on well-being. “These activities not only bring fun, but also contribute to an overall improvement in well-being, and the adult-child manifestation should be seen as a voluntary act generating well-being.”

For the psychologist, thinking like a child means living with wonder, looking at reality without filtering it through mental habits. “To think like a child is to approach life with eyes full of curiosity and wonder, as if everything we experience is happening to us for the first time.”

Beginner's Mind and Andean Wisdom

The same idea, couched in spiritual language, is also found in Andean traditions, where curiosity and inner balance are experienced as sacred practices. More precisely, in the teachings of Alberto Villoldo, anthropologist and disciple of the shamanic traditions of Peru, inner balance is achieved through Ayni: a state of harmony with oneself, with others and with the universe.

“When we are in right relationship with our destiny, the cosmos, and the earth, we gain great wisdom and can transform wounds and traumas into sources of strength; we can let go of the stories of the past so they no longer limit or define us, and we can release the dreams of the future. Andean shamans call this balance Ayni.” he says.

When we live in Ayni with all living beings, love (Munay) becomes the active principle of our life, according to his sayings. “We no longer respond out of resentment, anger or fear. A great power to do good and to create is revealed to us. And having tasted the true power of creating, we can stop feeling like victims or “experts” who think they know it all. We can start thinking like children again, with a beginner's mind, seeing life as if for the first time.”

Alberto Villoldo explains, on his blog, that such an attitude involves abandoning the attitude of superiority or “I've been here before, I already know what it's like.” “A beginner's mind forces us to let go of preconceived ideas about who we should be and how things should work. Our lives become simpler, because we are no longer weighed down by expectations that no one seems to be able to fully meet. Innocence and spontaneity revive us: not because we forget our experience, but because we no longer confuse what we learned yesterday with what we discover today.”

In this state of balance, Ayni helps us to let go of limiting beliefs about lack, abundance, privacy, or personal worth. “Gradually, we understand that every belief is a limitation, and we begin to toss them all into the recycling bin. We develop a hypothetical relationship with the world, testing each idea for its usefulness. We understand that believing is seeing, and that the universe validates any belief we have about the nature of reality.”

Inner balance as an exercise in curiosity

In the psychological and spiritual view alike, the beginner's mind is not an invitation to naivety, but to flexibility. It means looking at the world with fresh attention, without being stuck in mental patterns.

“Activities such as creative thinking or role-playing, together with awareness and self-reflection techniques, help to overcome limiting, self-imposed mental barriers and fears. It is important to allow ourselves to experiment responsibly, combining play with seriousness, thus avoiding naïve and immature behaviors.” says Luminița Tăbăran.

Modern and Andean teachings converge towards the same conclusion: curiosity is not childish, but a sign that we are healthy. Seeing the world as if for the first time is actually a form of freedom.

What recent studies say

In fact, a study conducted in 2025 at La Trobe University in Melbourne, published in The Journal of Play in Adulthood under the title “All work and no play: A structured play program to improve adult wellbeing” (Ruddock, Draganovic & Gibson, 2025), confirms the measurable effects of play on well-being in adults.

The researchers analyzed the impact of a structured one-hour program, with playful activities based on three principles: laughter, social interaction and the state of flow (total concentration in the present). In a sample of teachers and parents between the ages of 28 and 58, the results showed significant increases in positive affect, subjective vitality and levels of mindfulness, along with a noticeable reduction in negative emotions.

“Participants reported a significantly higher state of conscious presence and vitality after just one hour of play,” note the authors of the study. Their conclusion? The game is not only a memory of childhood, but an effective and accessible form of emotional regulation and restoration of mental balance in adulthood.

Research suggests that playful experiences can function as well-being interventions comparable to established positive psychology practices such as gratitude or meditation, offering an active and dynamic alternative to classic relaxation strategies.

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