We have two children: Priscilla (34) and Brandon (29). They are both married and we have three grandchildren.
I have an education up to the ninth grade and Sofia has an education up to the tenth grade. We both grew up in Miami. When we met, I was 22 and Sofia was 18. After six months, Sofia got pregnant, we got married and moved into Sofia's parents' house.
When I met Bobby, he said: “I don't know how, but I will create my own business. I will work for myself.”
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Bobby: I have always been a motivator, never a doer.
School wasn't for me. When I told my mother that I didn't want to go to her anymore, she supported me. She had been a waitress her whole life, so I left school and started working in a restaurant.
I heard conversations at the tables – people were talking about business, completely different than at home.
This aroused my curiosity and I told my mother: I will become a millionaire. I talked about it a lot, but I didn't do anything about it.
This changed many years later, when I lived with my in-laws – I paid them nothing, I had no job. One afternoon I went outside when everyone was coming home from work. Sofia pulled up in the black Mustang that her parents bought us for $600, followed by Priscilla; they both smiled at me.
I realized that I had to break out of the stagnation. I got a job at the Rusty Pelican restaurant in Key Biscayne and sold memberships to the Better Business Bureau during the day.
I was addicted to classified ads, anything that said “make $5,000 a month, become a millionaire.” There was an opportunity to become an equipment broker – an intermediary between lenders and business owners who needed a forklift, a grill or an ultrasound machine.
Sofia's mother lent us PLN 1.7 thousand. dollars to try. We put all our time, energy and focus into it. This eventually grew into BHG Financial, a business that provided loans to professionals.
See also: At the age of 32, he has properties worth over EUR 6 million. “I want to be financially settled”
Success at work, problems at home
Sofia: When our daughter was five years old, we were doing well, and when our son was born, we were earning over PLN 500,000. hole. annually.
We wanted to give them what we didn't have ourselves. Our parents gave us love, a roof over our heads and food on the table, but we were very poor.
We didn't want our children to struggle with the same thing.
We raised them with good values - respect, kindness – and they have never had any problems with the law. But over time we realized that if we took away their financial support, they would have no idea how to cope in the real world.
We didn't educate them enough. We should have taught them at school how to manage money, how to create, and how to think about what they want from life.
Bobby: We made some mistakes with the children. We failed Priscilla and Brandon.
With our first child, we said: we will spoil her to the maximum. She will have everything.
She appeared on the show “My Super Sweet 16”. She got a Mercedes SL 500. The full package.
At another point, she wanted to start a shoe company. She didn't have a business plan, but we invested because she was our daughter. I didn't do any due diligence. It was a great learning experience – for both us and Priscilla – but mistakes can be turning points.
Sofia: Priscilla went to college, but school wasn't for her. We told her she had two options: either she would come to work with us – that's when we started investing in real estate – or she would find a career path.
We weren't going to let our kids sit around and be “trust fund kids.”
First rule? Talk about money
Bobby: When Priscilla and Brandon started working in our family office, they weren't excited or motivated about it. They just got money without having to ask for it.
We heard that 70 percent families lose their fortune after the second generation and we realized that we need help to break this curse.
So we turned to Legacy Capitals, a consulting firm, and created a 100-year legacy plan. We meet regularly to discuss our assets – the various trusts – what we need to do to preserve them and how to grow them.
Since then it's been night and day. Our son owns apartments in which he invests and is responsible for financing the office. Our son-in-law is involved in real estate investments. They work hard and earn their own money.
Sofia: Our children are very involved in writing the contract.
We introduce rules, regulations and guidelines. If they want to start a business or get involved in charity, how can they get money for it?
There are also suggestions.
One of the mistakes Bobby and I made was that we never encouraged them to work outside the family business or to pursue summer internships. We include this in the family handbook: get to know the world beyond us.
Bobby: Another rule: no family member sues another. This is one of our core values because money creates friction.
We also work on the roles and responsibilities of each family member.
Many people have never talked to their children about family finances, and they are already in their 70s and 80s. For us, everything revolves around communication. We need to talk about money, money policies, and how we want to impact the world.
We started this a little too late. Our children actually do this with our grandchildren. They can benefit from what we have learned. They are really great parents. And that improved my relationship with them. We travel together as a family; they live close, we meet and have fun without talking about business.
I see great progress. Just this week, they closed a transaction on a residential building together. On their own, with their own money, they joined forces with their cousins and bought an 18-unit multi-family building.
I stepped aside and let them lead. We are heading in the right direction.
The above text is a translation from American edition of Business Insider
