When is it worth writing a will? Wealth doesn't matter. Think about the children

When we became adoptive parents, we often talked about child care and financial plans in case something happened to us. We wanted to make sure that our children, who were school-age at the time, would be cared for. But then life moved on: soccer games, piano lessons, math homework and sleepovers pushed estate planning to the side.

When the pandemic hit, everything went off course. Suddenly we had more time to think about our own mortality. And since my school schedule moved online, I also found time for a virtual meeting with a lawyer.

It's time to cross estate planning off your to-do list.

Estate planning isn't just for the rich

Like many people, my husband and I assumed that estate planning was only for the wealthy and only mattered after death.

We don't have yachts, second homes or any other sign of wealth. However, we had two teenage children and enormous worry about what would happen if we both died before our sons were old enough to administer the estate – even if they didn't inherit the millions.

We quickly realized that estate planning isn't just for the wealthy.

We didn't want to leave important decisions to the court or burden our families with the stress of helping our sons make decisions about their home, cars, or financial accounts.

The process was difficult, but the result was worth the effort.

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We had difficult parenting conversations

As we worked through estate planning decisions, we immersed ourselves in difficult conversations.

• Where would our sons – minors at the time – live if we were gone?
• Who do we trust to make financial decisions?
• When did we think our sons would be mature enough to handle an inheritance of any size?

Each answer raised new questions and issues that we had not thought about before. We talked to my siblings and our parents about their plans, as well as friends who showed us other perspectives. None of these topics were easy, but they were all necessary.

The most important thing was that we asked ourselves deeper questions:

• What legacy do we want to leave to our children?
• How does this affect how we live now?

Planning for death forced us to clearly define our plans for life.

We created a solid plan

We may have over-planned, but it gave us peace of mind that our sons would not inherit more than they could handle. We have identified backup trustees to help our sons navigate any complex legal processes, and we have even made contingency plans for our beloved family dog.

Our plan also included: health care directives and financial powers of attorney. Now, even though our sons are adults, they won't be forced to make impossible medical or financial decisions if we both become unable to make them. Instead, we have designated other loved ones who can step in in the worst-case scenarios my imagination conjures up.

When we signed the documents, we were sure that every detail had been taken care of. We did it for our sons.

We left the law firm feeling relieved, but that was only the beginning of what I learned about the importance of such plans.

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Our children will not inherit chaos

I worked in the estate planning industry for several years, which only confirmed that we made the right decision.

I received call after call from distraught loved ones trying to avoid the probate process after the death of a family member. I listened as they talked about the deep wounds and broken relationships that resulted from poor estate planning. These conversations confirmed that the costs, difficult conversations, and time invested were worth it.

It also helped me understand that these plans, while legally binding, can be updated and changed as circumstances change. I hope we both live to enjoy grandchildren and retirement. We will then update our records so that our legacy endures.

If one day, God forbid, our plans are actually needed, we have the peace of mind knowing that our sons will not inherit chaos they cannot untangle. We made the investment now so that they do not have to face unnecessary difficulties later.

The above text is a translation from American edition of Business Insider