Psychologists have long noted that the peak of divorce in long-term marriages occurs at the age of 38–42 years. It is generally accepted that the issue is a midlife crisis, accumulated grievances and fatigue.
But recent research by endocrinologists has added an unexpected detail: increasingly, the root cause of emotional alienation is hormonal changes in the female body.
After 37 years, the level of estrogen, the main “femininity hormone,” begins to gradually decline. It is responsible not only for reproductive functions, but also for the emotional background, libido, the ability to experience pleasure and tenderness. When estrogen drops, it becomes more difficult for a woman to gain emotional satisfaction from intimacy. She may perceive her partner not as a source of joy, but as an irritating factor, especially if the relationship has not been emotionally renewed for a long time.
At the same time, the level of progesterone, the hormone of calm and confidence, changes. Its deficiency leads to anxiety, irritability, and frequent mood swings. During this period, a woman may feel that “everything is wrong,” although outwardly nothing has changed in her life.
Hormone of love
Oxytocin, known as the love and bonding hormone, is closely related to estrogen in women. The higher the estrogen level, the more actively oxytocin is released, the easier it is for a woman to experience trust, tenderness and the desire to care.
When estrogen decreases, the release of oxytocin in response to familiar stimuli (touching, talking, spending time together) becomes weaker. And where there used to be warmth and closeness, emotional distance may appear.
In other words, a woman literally feels less love – not because the feelings have disappeared, but because the biochemistry of their experience has changed.
Why relationships suffer
At this age, two crises often coincide: a man reaches the peak of stability and is less eager for change, and a woman experiences hormonal changes, feeling internal instability.
She is looking for new sources of emotions, self-expression, confirmation of her own attractiveness. A partner who does not understand the physiological reasons for changes may perceive this as coldness, dissatisfaction, or even betrayal. Alienation sets in and the marriage comes apart at the seams.
What do endocrinologists advise?
Modern medicine offers several ways to help a relationship survive this stage.
- Hormonal diagnostics. Checking estrogen, progesterone and oxytocin levels may explain emotional swings and decreased libido.
- Lifestyle correction. Sleep, nutrition, moderate exercise, and stress reduction naturally support hormonal balance.
- Hormonal therapy or herbal medicine – only as prescribed by a doctor.
- Psychological support for the couple. Joint therapy helps to understand that “cold feelings” do not necessarily mean the end of love, but signal that the body and relationships need renewal.
Love at 40 years old can be no less bright than at 25, if both partners realize that it is not coldness that is to blame, but physiology. When a woman understands that her emotions are controlled not only by her heart, but also by hormones, she stops blaming herself. And a man, knowing this, may show support rather than irritation.
And a crisis in marriage after 38 years is not a death sentence, but a natural stage when love requires not passion, but awareness. Sometimes, in order to regain tenderness, you don’t need to start all over again with another person, but help your own body feel harmony again.
Important: This information is not a substitute for consulting a doctor. The body's response to changes in diet/training may depend on individual physiology, genetic predisposition and health status. It is recommended to consult a specialist.
