You don't know him, you've never spoken to him, but you know how he drinks his coffee in the morning, what music he listens to, and how he reacts when he's angry. You have the impression that he understands you, that he speaks for you, that there is something between you. It doesn't exist. And yet, the attachment and feeling of closeness can seem just as real as in a real relationship.
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The phenomenon has a name in psychology and, from 2025, a place in the dictionary. But before it reached academic term, it was – and remains – an experience that more and more people live without knowing its name.
Anyone who constantly exposes themselves online – through videos, stories or posts – can end up seeming relatable to someone who has never met them. The situation becomes problematic when the one who consumes this type of content starts to get attached and sometimes ends up building an imaginary relationship.
“These online romantic relationships are often a form of parasocial relationship – that is, a one-sided emotional connection, where you feel close, but the other person does not know you, or the interaction is minimal. And because you see her frequently on platforms like Instagram, TikTok or YouTube, it seems like you know her, and you may even have the illusion that she is addressing you, and the brain treats this experience as a real relationship. The mind begins to fill in the gaps by attributing positive traits, ignoring what she does not know, and creating a idealized version of that person. You're actually falling in love with a constructed version of yourself, not the real person.” explains clinical psychologist Luminița Tăbăran for “Adevărul”.
When such a “relationship without relationship”? When there are unfulfilled emotional needs, i.e. when you are alone, when you need validation or want a secure connection, (no risk of direct rejection)and the Internet provides a relationship “no real risk”according to his words.
“It's like a fairy tale, it becomes addictive, the interaction is not regular, the posts seem to be addressed to you, the occasional replies to your comments … a mechanism similar to that of gambling occurs: you don't know when the reward is coming and it keeps you hooked. Each new message posted releases dopamine and creates a 'wait-reward' cycle. Sometimes, the idea can also appear that he is only talking to you, that you already have a romantic relationship and that the person in question wants to communicate with you, that he is interested in you”. she points out.
In other words, the “relationship” seems safe precisely because it isn't real. You can't be rejected by someone who doesn't know you exist. You can't be disappointed by someone you don't really know. And it is precisely this false security that makes it difficult to abandon.
“This type of relationship provides emotional security, but it's false, but that's what makes it 'perfect' and hard to leave. If the person resembles your ideal, expresses things you resonate with, the feeling of understanding, acceptance appears. But this relationship keeps you stuck, consumes your emotional energy without real reciprocity, decreases your interest in real relationships, reinforces avoidance – you stop risking authentic connections – and creates addiction to a fantasy controllable”, adds Luminița Tăbăran.
Who is more exposed to develop such relationships
Not everyone ends up developing an imaginary relationship with someone they don't know, but research shows that some people are more prone than others. Most often, those with unmet emotional needs appear – people who feel lonely, who do not have close relationships or who do not feel sufficiently validated in everyday life. For them, the parasocial relationship functions as a substitute: it provides the feeling of connection without the risk of rejection. It's a relationship that can't hurt you directly, precisely because it's not real.
There are also the people who need constant confirmation and are afraid of losing a connection – those who, in real relationships, always need to know that the other is there. They tend to develop intense attachments to someone they follow online more easily, precisely because the imaginary relationship can never leave them. And they are also the most sensitive to the fear of missing out if they unfollow, which keeps them constantly connected.
Another mechanism is related to identification. People who feel that a creator fits them – in terms of values, lifestyle or personality – develop attachment to them more easily. Teenagers and young adults frequently appear in studies precisely because they are at a stage where they are looking for role models and building their identity, but the phenomenon does not stop with them – it is growing visibly among adults as well, especially with the spread of podcasts and conversational artificial intelligence.
A less intuitive detail comes from a recent study about virtual influencers – computer-generated characters that don't exist in reality. Researchers have found that attachment to such a “person” increases significantly when followers interact with each other in the community. In other words, you don't need a direct relationship with the person you're following – it's enough to be part of a group that talks about them. Community membership amplifies individual attachment, even to someone who does not exist.
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You don't even need a real person anymore
That the phenomenon is no longer marginal is also proven by the Cambridge Dictionary, which designated “parasocial” as the word of the year 2025, defined as a connection one feels to a famous person they don't know – a relationship that only exists for one of those involved. Cambridge representatives explained that the term, once academic, has become “a mainstream” because millions of people experience such relationships, and even more are simply intrigued by their prevalence.
In 2025, the phenomenon took an even weirder turn: parasocial relationships began to appear with chatbots as well. More precisely, people who treated him ChatGPT as a confidant, a friend or even as a romantic partner, reaching emotionally significant and, in some cases, problematic connections. So the imaginary relationship doesn't even need a real person anymore. The feeling of response and presence is enough.
What the studies say
An extensive study published in “International Journal of Information Management”which analyzed 117 studies and data from more than 47,000 participants, shows that the parasocial relationship it doesn't just mean you're following someone's online activity. But it works on three levels: you think about the person, you develop feelings for them, and you start investing time and energy into that connection. In other words, it's not just content consumption, but real engagement on the part of the viewer.
The study also shows that this engagement increases when the content creator is perceived as competent, trustworthy, attractive or “on the same wavelength”. Under these conditions, the one-sided relationship becomes stronger and ends up influencing concrete decisions, from which products you choose to who you trust.
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Another study, published in 2025 in “Frontiers in Psychology”also explains why this “relationship” can keep you stuck in apps or websites. Research shows that imaginary proximity to a content creator activates two mechanisms at the same time: on the one hand, the state of absorption occurs in which you lose track of time, and on the other hand, the fear that you will miss something important if you stop.
These two mechanisms do not work separately, but feed each other. The longer you follow a content creator, the more attachment you can grow, and the more attachment you grow, the harder it becomes to stop. In parallel, there is a constant need to check if something new has appeared. The result translates into a “self-perpetuating circle that can lead to compulsively following the online person of interest.”
“The good news is that you can get out of this pattern. No, not suddenly, tomorrow you don't do that anymore! But with understanding and recalibration. Questions like, 'What do I really feel? Affection, longing, need for validation?' or “What part of me am I projecting there?” they will help you clarify what you want and move more easily from the imaginary to the here and now and start real interactions with friends or participate in various social activities”, is Luminița Tăbăran's opinion.
In fact, the problem is not the time spent online. It's the fact that, for more and more people, the internet is no longer just a place where they consume content, but a place where they feel like they're in relationships. And some of these relationships, even though they don't exist in reality, end up mattering more than the real ones.
