“Don't talk to strangers!” it is not enough for the safety of the child. Teach him to recognize behaviors, not dangerous faces

“Don't talk to strangers!”. That was, for many of us, the catchphrase of our safety education when we were kids. A short sentence, repeated to the point of obsession by our parents. We didn't leave home without being told “be careful!”. Without much explanation, without knowing very well what exactly we should beware of. At best, I'd get some whispered advice or scary stories of strangers who might lure you in with a chocolate. Do you still know? Are these warnings still valid today? And what could our children understand just from these stories? Who and how should they beware, what does “danger” really mean, and why can't only “strangers” be a threat to their safety?

“Stranger Danger” (strangers are dangerous – no) it is no longer a valid general concept today. Everything has changed in the meantime. Someone who smiles at you every day on the street or an acquaintance in whom you and your child trust can also be dangerous: a family friend, the parent of a colleague, a neighbor. In the online sphere, the concept of “foreigner” seems downright obsolete. Who to avoid first if the “strangers” don't even have a “face”, no profile picture, and not even a real identity?

We, the parents, are the ones who guide the children through life. We have to teach them signals, cues, key phrases or situations that may prove dangerous. We have to hone their instinct and then help them trust it. Specialists say that parents are the ones who need to provide children with “tools” to help them protect themselves from dangers. And this can mean simulations (more in play, more seriously) on the theme of “what do you do if…” (you get lost, you are approached by a stranger, you feel in danger) or “exercises” with your own personality: who I am, what I want, what is allowed or not, who I can trust, it is not good to keep secrets from parents, etc.

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