Middle age crisis not for millennials. It's too expensive

In the classic image of the middle age crisis, the one where many millennials and representatives of the X generation grew up, man buys a red sports car and drops all signs of adulthood. Studies indicate that this crisis affects 10 to 20 percent. people, usually in the fourth or fifth decade of life.

But Such a moment of doubt can also be cleansing. It can become an impulse to start a new stage of life, with financial independence and life wisdom, which was missing at the age of twenty years. Two researchers in a breakthrough article published in 2008 in the Harvard Business Review argued that confrontation with their own mortality can cause a transition from “motivation resulting from deficiencies”, i.e. attempts to compensate for something to “development motivation” when a man uses the freedom of self -awareness.

It sounds good, it is a pity that a whole generation of people who are just middle age can not afford it.

Luxurious middle age crisis

In today's unstable economy, abandoning everything to take a more satisfying path may seem irresponsible. In many industries, from technology to industry, employment is limited, and companies have been recruiting at a slow pace for a decade. Mind and creative employees are displaced by artificial intelligence and other new technologies. The October Glassdoor survey shows that Two -thirds of professionals feel trapped in their current job. Over 70 percent responded so among the technology sector employees. people. So more and more people stay in positions from which they would like to leave. Return to school today costs by 40 percent. more than 20 years ago. The rising costs of living mean that it is difficult to survive a temporary reduction in income associated with changing the career path. In a study conducted in April 2024, as many as 8 out of 10 millennials admitted that the midlife crisis is a luxury they could not afford.

Among my interlocutors, there were ideas on how they could turn their lives upside down, but Everyone agreed that this was a bad moment to submit a personal fulfillment of common sense.

See also: The generation is heading straight into a professional gap. “Pain of constant failures”

“Halfway back life”

The real crisis may not be in the people themselves today, but in the economy that makes so many of us feel imprisoned.

Francesca Maximé, a therapist and coach, observes this problem closely, although he prefers to talk about “half -way return” than about the crisis of middle age.

This is how she describes the change that she has passed a decade ago. After almost 20 years of work as a television reporter, she was discouraged by the way the media reported the presidential election in the US in 2016. Personal difficulties led her to therapy, and she inspired her to completely change the professional path and help others. “I work on my own now,” he says. – I run two companies. Both are doing great – he assures.

Many of her clients who come with anxiety related to medium age are counting on a similar turn. But – as he emphasizes – When she herself, in the mid -forty, saw a light future in front of her, her current clients say that the labor market and the economy are too unpredictable today. “They are looking for renewal in life,” says Maximé. “But it's hard for them to imagine what would work, or even dare to dream,” he explains.

Medium age is a time when a person really begins to know himself well. But this is also the moment when a radical change may seem particularly risky, precisely because you are often responsible for children, partners, aging parents or colleagues.

“There is nothing wrong with stopping, thinking about where you were and where you are going, and then change something,” says Margie Lachman, a psychologist managing the human development laboratory at the Brandeis University. After all, you can feel unfulfilled in their forties just because finally a person clearly sees what he really wants. – It is never too late to change and you don't have to have everything carefully planned – he adds.

From a cracking bubble to the AI ​​revolution

But older millennials feel particularly strongly that they fell victim to subsequent waves of uncertainty, which coincided with the key moments of their lives. Dotcom bubble and a great recession hit their adulthood and career. Pandemia Covid-19 came when they started to reach forty. And now, when they should theoretically be at a professional peak, they must face inflation and technological revolution related to AI. – We all experience the same events, but their effects differ depending on the moment of life in which they meet us – emphasizes Lachman.

It is a belief that today it is extremely difficult to decide on a bold step, shares many representatives of the X generation.

Jane, a marketing specialist from Canada, has already had one middle age crisis behind her. He came out so good that she would gladly survive another one.

Ten years ago, at the age of 45, she abandoned her career in PR and marketing. She spent several years in doctoral studies in history and traveled with her partner. They believed that it was their “last chance for a great adventure” (Jane asked for anonymity because of the possible professional consequences). However, when the Covid-19 pandemia broke out in 2020, and the scientific path turned out to be unprofitable, Jane returned to a more stable life that she wanted to leave behind. She was employed in the Content marketing department of a technology company.

-I have, according to all standards, a great job in a great company-says 55-year-old Jane today. – I have no objective reason to be dissatisfied. I should be grateful – he admits.

And yet recent years they remind her – as she put it – “the treadmill that revolves faster and you only burn more energy to stay still.”

He dreams of getting off this treadmill. He thinks about social work or training for a therapist. However, there is no certainty that if such a plan fails, it can return to its former industry. He is the oldest person in the company and suspects that AI will soon completely take over the writing he deals with. She is frightened by the vision that three decades of experience may stop in a moment.

“I didn't expect that I would be unnecessary so early,” he says.

Where to get motivated?

It is difficult to come to terms with the desire to turn your life upside down, all the more if you know exactly what it would look like and the simultaneous awareness that it would be unreasonable. And the consequences of getting stuck in professional lethargy go beyond individual failure.

– People who feel trapped are less involved in their work – says Daniel Zhao, chief economist at Glassdoor. – And employees' involvement has a huge impact on their productivity – he adds.

Most of the people I spoke to said openly that they were not sure if the path they go, make sense at all. Not only because of personal fatigue, but also because new technologies reduce the value of skills that they have perfected for decades.

Kara Haas, a 43-year-old living in Brooklyn, says directly: she feels trapped between the shrinking profession and the uncertainty that overwhelms her. She once dreamed to become a film director. When this plan did not work, it found a different passion and became a stage designer in television and film productions. However, today, with budget cuts and a decreasing number of new projects, work is much less than before.

Haas feels that this may be her last moment to change. She considered the opening of Airbnb. But there is no financial supply with lower income that would survive the transformation. He is afraid that he will not cope with expenses or lose health insurance, which he receives by the trade union.

“All options are bad,” he says. – And I always thought that the midlife crisis would be at least an opportunity to play. We should buy sports cars and pick up younger boys. But we probably do something completely different – he adds.

Life subordinated to children's graphics

Regardless of the condition of the labor market and wider economic problems, millennials experience classic symptoms of middle age: fatigue with adult duties, raising children or regret that they do not have time to use the fruits of their work. In addition, their generation has also affected cultural changes: modern parents, including fathers, spend much more time with children than previous generations, they go on vacation less often, and keeping up behind their peers costs more than ever. According to one of the estimates, the cost of raising a child increased from 2016 by 20 percent.

“When you cross forty, you start to really realize how much you have left,” says Jason, the owner of a small business from New York, a six- and ten-year-old father. He asked not to give his name to be honest about his feelings. Jason, who is 44 years old, admits that life subordinated to children's graphics caused his crisis and at the same time immobilized him.

– I worked hard for decades. Now I have infinite possibilities of traveling, participating in exciting things – he says. “And yet I have to say” no “to sit at home.” And it really kills me. I feel like I exchanged the last, fast -passing years for insignificant duties – he admits.

Francesca Maximé, a coach and therapist, advises his clients that you do not need to destroy your whole life to change something. Encourages small steps.

“Start by imagining the perfect life you would like to lead,” he says. “Then think what you can do exactly to get closer to him,” he adds.

In the case of many people I talked to, the most effective way to fight the existential fear turned out to be tightening the relationship with others. Jane, a marketing specialist from Canada, recently joined the rowing team and began to participate as a volunteer at the local dance festival.

She focused on small adventures, at least until something bigger appears.

The above text is a translation with American Business Insider edition