Why 1 in 2 young people started practicing “defensive dating”. How much a single date ended up costing in 2026
Romantic dates are no longer just about compatibility, but also about budget. More and more young people are choosing to go out less often or cut back on dating as the cost of living rises.
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From the restaurant bill to dating app subscriptions, modern relationships come with a cost that many are no longer willing to bear. A 2026 survey by BMO Financial Group, cited by CNBC, shows that about half of single Americans go out on dates less often or choose cheaper options.
Cost of an appointment: hundreds of dollars a year
For young people from generation Z, the average cost of a meeting reaches 205 dollars (approximately 950 lei), and for millennials it rises to 252 dollars.
In practice, this means that a young person can spend almost $1,845 annually on dating alone, equivalent to 3-5% of their annual income. In fact, on average, a young Gen Z goes on about nine dates a year.
However, the costs are not limited to consumption during the exit. Transport, personal training or clothes contribute significantly to the final amount, and for many people these expenses become difficult to justify in the context of constantly rising prices.
“Defensive Dating”: Less Risk, Fewer Connections
Amid these pressures, young people's behavior is beginning to change. Specialists talk about a phenomenon called “defensive dating”, in which people become more cautious and reduce the number of meetings.
“The rising cost of living directly affects the frequency of going out. People avoid expensive restaurants and are more selective in their choice of partners,” psychologist Sabrina Romanoff explained to CNBC.
For many, the financial risk of a failed date becomes a real deterrent. The idea of spending tens of dollars for a fruitless interaction makes young people more reserved.
Dating apps
The financial pressure doesn't stop at dating. Dating apps, such as those operated by Match Group or Bumble Inc., operate on a “freemium” model, where basic access is free but advanced features are charged.
About 35% of users have paid for such services, and the average monthly cost is about $19.
“Many of these apps work on a freemium model. You can join for free, but to get the more attractive features, you have to pay a subscription”Pinar Yildirim, an associate professor at the Wharton School, told CNBC.
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The change is part of a wider transformation: if in the past most couples were formed through friends, now online dating has become the main way to meet a partner.
The paradox of options: more is not better
Apps provide access to a much larger number of potential partners, but this advantage comes with side effects.
“Dating apps have significantly increased the number of people we have access to,” says Yildirim. “But this abundance can be deceiving.”
According to him, although users interact with a large number of people, only a small part of these conversations evolve into real relationships. The sheer volume of options can lead to indecision and decrease the quality of interactions.
“Pay to play”: when the odds depend on the budget
So, more and more users end up paying for visibility and extended access. Psychologists talk about a type system pay-to-play where success can also depend on budget.
“It's a system where if you have money, you're more likely to be successful on apps or find a partner”explains Sabrina Romanoff.
Paid functions turn the experience into a process close to the logic of online games, where visibility and interactions can be “optimized” for a fee, experts say.
Industry representatives, however, reject this interpretation. The companies claim that the free versions are enough to form real connections, and the subscriptions only offer additional tools for users who want more control.
The trend also reaches Romania
The phenomenon is not limited to the United States. Eurostat data shows that the financial pressure on young Europeans is increasing, especially in terms of housing and daily living costs.
According to the Youth Eurobarometer 2025, 40% of young people between the ages of 16 and 30 consider the cost of living their main problem, a context in which spending on socialization is becoming increasingly difficult to support.
The situation is also visible in Romania. According to Cook Communications' Young Money Matters 2025 study, more than a third of Gen Zers earn below the median wage, and nearly a quarter say they have no money left over at the end of the month.
At the same time, savings are limited: on average, young people could cover expenses for just over a month, which indicates a small margin of financial safety.
The structure of expenses explains this pressure. Most of the budget goes to food, utilities and housing, while the amounts allocated for leisure time remain relatively small.
In this context, dating expenses become, for many young people, some of the premiums they give up or reduce.
