The recent revelations of the sexual abuse of the psychiatrist Cristian Andrei, made by the PressOne publication, and of the medical abuse of the urologist Vasilića Minciună, made by the investigation website Snoop, added to a long line of femicides, do not only speak of misogyny, but also of the refusal of a part of society to integrate feminine qualities that are in the natural course of evolution.
What is happening in the country and in the world is, in my opinion, a healing crisis – that is, an exacerbation of symptoms before the actual healing takes place. The healing crisis is part of healing.
As psychologists say, we all have feminine and masculine parts, and they need to be in balance to function harmoniously. Society – and the entire world – is currently in a process of equating the feminine qualities – empathy, compassion, intuition, forgiveness, etc., with the masculine qualities – courage, (physical) strength, ambition, independence, rationalism, etc., which have predominated throughout history.
“It's as if the man wants to cancel not just the woman's body”
Feminism and especially the #MeToo movement, whose offensive component was justified by the abuses it exposed, greatly accelerated the balancing process, but fueled the already existing misogyny, with the patriarchy feeling its position of power threatened.
The treatment worthy of Mengele that Vasilića Minciună and other doctors apply to his patients for money, as it emerges from Luiza Vasiliu's shocking investigation on Snoop, can be seen, beyond the air of quackery, as the symbolic attempt to annul feminine qualities as human values.
Although it mimics the empowerment of women by restoring the hymen, this is not the stake, just as money is not the stake. It's about control over the female body. It is the same as not allowing a woman to have an abortion.
There is something very sick in these assaults on the female body in its most intimate and symbolic way. They could be included in the same paradigm as the endless stabbing of a woman, as often happens in cases of femicide. It's as if the man wants to cancel not only the woman's body, but, above all, the idea of femininity, of motherhood, of creation and rebirth.
It is almost a suicide on a symbolic level, because by canceling the idea of motherhood, the aggressor is, in fact, canceling himself.
The cases of Cristian Andrei and Vasilića Minciună & Comp.
Beyond their peculiarities, the cases of Cristian Andrei and Vasilića Minciună & Comp. they have the same pattern: a man in a position of authority (psychotherapist, doctor) turns the power relationship into one of abuse, starting from the prejudice that the patient, being a woman, is inferior, therefore a somehow justified prey.
Although what Vali Minciuna did smacks of rape (in my opinion), psychological abuse is still a form of rape. Why? First of all, because the manipulation done from a respectable position, wrapped in the tinfoil of kindness and empathy, prevents the victim for a long time from realizing what happened to him.
And after realizing, it makes it hard for her to report the abuse because she's afraid she won't be believed. However, the healing process is so long and winding that the victim will often return to guilt (“it was my fault too”), downplaying (“it wasn't that bad”) or dissociation (“I don't feel anything anymore”).
We cannot put ourselves in the position of the victim because we are not emotionally involved and judge with all the cards on the table. Sometimes we are even tempted to accuse her of not realizing it in time or of wanting to take revenge. Or we say that “it was not whose fault he sold, but whose fault he bought” as someone wrote on Luiza Vasiliu's Facebook account, with the relaxation of a stoner who steals from the scales.
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“The victim, trained not to see the abuse”
But we do not take into account something essential: the process of seduction to which the victim fell prey fed his sense of loyalty all along. It was always about manipulation.
The victim was trained not to see the abuse, numbing her reflexes under the pretext that a good therapeutic or medical relationship requires maximum vulnerability and full trust in the therapist's ability to understand, contain and treat the client/patient. This premise is sine qua non in the process, and the client/patient wanted to be better.
At some point, in the case of Cristian Andrei, the erotic component appeared, the client being made to believe that what was happening to her was unusual, beautiful and unavoidable. She thought she was the only client the “therapist” would have married if he was free, as he himself told her.
Romania's most publicized psychotherapist has been practicing without a certificate for over 20 years. Several women accuse him of sexual harassment in the office. How Cristian Andrei defends himself
Animals of prey
Leaving aside the therapist's obligation to manage transference and countertransference in the client relationship, there is something deeply wrong here, because a vulnerable person with a past of abuse (or not) should not be retraumatized by the very person who is supposed to help them.
To take advantage of a client (or client) who has lowered her defenses speaks of a lack of empathy and humanity.
What I find most unpleasant in the two cases is that the aggressor is in a position considered impregnable, beyond any suspicion, haloed even by the halo of generosity, empathy and unconditional love. And he benefits from ex officio leniency, or is even above the idea of leniency.
But such people are prey animals, motivated by the sense of power that controlling other people gives. Here's the drug.
When abuse is followed by another abuse
And you know what hurts the most about abuse? When the victim does not accept the truth – which is, in fact, the reality of what happened. This is the heart of psychological abuse – that you, as the victim, are denied a voice.
Even the fact that the press puts more emphasis on Cristian Andrei's profession of psychotherapy without a diploma and less on sexual and psychological abuse is almost a new trauma for the victim.
It is equally unfair when the president of the Disciplinary Commission of the College of Physicians, in the first public statement after the investigation on Snoop, says that the doctor Vasilića Minciună will be subject to a disciplinary investigation “if he does not have the skills” – that is, professional skills, without saying a word about masturbating the patient and other dubious practices. So if he has the skills, is a doctor allowed to do this?
Pretending not to see the abuse is, for the victim, another abuse. It shouldn't just be a wake-up call for her.
