– In many organizations, Feedback launches a defensive reaction in employees. Instead of motivating, it causes stress and closes the way to study – confirms Agata Rybarska, a business mentor and an experted executive coach. – After 20 years of work in corporations and nearly three thousand hours spent with leaders at mentoring sessions, I am convinced that Feedback works only when we stop treating it as a grade at school, and we start as a conversation between adults.
According to Randstad data 69 percent employees believe that feedback improves the quality of their work, and 73 percent that it motivates them to act. This is confirmed by Deloitte studies that show that Organizations with feedback and coaching culture reach an average of 21 percent. Better business results. Unfortunately, in many organizations it strengthens the culture of anxiety more often than learning.
As the expert explains, Feedback usually causes one of three reactions: a defense mechanism, aggression or – the least – openness to comments. – When our brain hears criticism, he reacts to her as a threat. The “fight and escape” system is then activated, while blocking the areas responsible for learning. If the feedback is administered inefficiently, there is no chance for a rational conversation, generating solutions or starting motivation to change.
How should the leader prepare for an evaluation conversation?
– The paradox, which I often observe in people in higher positions, is that despite the vast experience Many leaders are afraid of feedback just like their employees. Some avoid conversations because “they don't have time”, others do not want to spoil the atmosphere, and others prefer not to fund additional discomfort – says the expert.
Here – as he emphasizes – intention is crucial. Not settlement, only development. It is worth starting with the question: “What do I want this conversation to change?” – It sets the tone of the meeting.
There may be a few simple rules helpful: sticking to facts instead of ratingsspeaking from the perspective of “I” instead of “you”, Avoiding generalizations (words like “always” or “never” guarantee resistance), frequent conversations, taking up to dateand not once a year and to determine at the end specific plan. Without it, it's easy to escalate emotions that they don't bring anything.
– Leaders have at their disposal many tools to help organize the conversation. Each of them has its own advantages – some work when assessing projects, others in a short operational feedback. Personally, the Fuko structure is closest to me (facts, feelings, consequences, expectations). Facilitates disarming emotions and closing the conversation with a specific contract for the future. However, there is no one best structure – each leader can choose the one in which he feels the most natural – says the expert.
How to take a feedback constructively?
Taking feedback is not always easy, but a few things can help you approach it with more loose. Agata Rybarska advises that instead of reacting immediately, wait and listen to the other side carefully. It is worth saving key points and return to the topic after a moment of reflection. These types of conversations should not be conducted “on the run”.
Questions about specifics are good, e.g. a request for an example of the situation raised. It should also be remembered that thanks for feedback – even difficult – this is a way to show openness. This type of information can be a great starting point for development.
– Feedback is often associated mainly with what is not working. And yet Signals are equally important, which works well. If they do not appear naturally, nothing prevents you from asking what is appreciated in a given cooperation. This allows you to see a fuller picture – not only what is worth changing, but also what is worth strengthening – emphasizes the expert. It also advises also prepare points that we want to move with the leader or leader.
“Feedback up”. How to talk to the boss?
“Upward Feedback” is still rare in business, because employees are afraid of consequences. And yet evaluation talks are not a school exam, but a dialogue of two colleagues. More and more leaders want to hear the voice of their team. How to do it well?
The expert advises to catch your breath first before talking to the boss. Emotions can obscure a wider context, and what can be seen from our perspective is just a slice of the whole situation. It is better not to put on ready -made scenarios, just check if the other party is open to hear another point of view. Such a conversation has a chance to be constructive if it is not a unilateral speech.
– In this case, it is also helpful to talk about your own feelings. “I picked it up …” opens the space for mutual understanding, instead of building a wall. Agata Rybarska also emphasizes not to forget about balance – the boss also needs to be appreciated.
Feedback or FeedFord?
– As Marshall Goldsmith says, the creator of the idea of ”FeedFord”: “It is easier to show people how to do something better in the future than to argue about the past.” It is enough to change each sentence about the past into a sentence expressing specific expectation in the future. Such a change of perspective increases the chance of a positive reaction of the other party. The conversation will not get stuck in the dispute without the effect. According to the expert, it is worth using both formats, choosing them adequately to the situation and needs.
Good feedback requires maturity of both sides. When it is run skillfully, it becomes the most valuable tool for building trust and development in the organization. As Agata Rybarska emphasizes, during a good evaluation conversation in the space between two people trust is born – a currency that no strategy is replaced.
