During the three years of war, like many other Ukrainians, I got used to the outbreak of alarm sirens at night. Despite this, I felt safe in Kiev, which was strongly protected by the best Western air defense systems. Many people from other, less protected regions came to the capital to shelter under our Patriot systems.
It ceased to be like that since Donald Trump returned to the White House at the beginning of this year and changed the policy of the United States towards Ukraine. In March, he first limited military assistance to force Kyiv to negotiate peace with Russia. Now he did it again, while the US is reviewing ammunition stocks, and the White House announces that the decision was made “in the interest of America”.
US Secretary of Defense Pete HegeSeth with his wife Jennifer Rauche during the Independence Day in the USA, Washington, July 4, 2025. It is HegeSeth, along with Donald Trump, is to make a decision regarding any further supply of weapons of UkrainePAP / EPA / BONNIE Cash / Pool / PAP
On Thursday, Trump talked with Vladimir Putin again, then admitted: “I did not achieve any progress” in convincing the Russian leader until the end of the war. A few hours later, the Kremlin fired the greatest salvo of rockets and drones towards Kiev since the beginning of the war.
The scale of Russian attacks is growing: currently there are powerful attacks at least twice a week. This is the new reality despite (or because of) the efforts of peace declared by Trump.
Currently, when the alarm siren sounds, I sleep on the floor in the corridor. Other residents of Kiev sleep in parking lots, in the platforms of the Kiev metro or in bathrooms – usually in rooms that provide some protection against glass shards from broken windows.
Kyiv, a city of over three million inhabitants, has not yet built the right pain shelters for all people. For those of us who live away from the metro line and the appropriate shelters, every night becomes a lottery of terror.
“Alarm sirens throughout the country. I feel as if everyone was led to execution. But only one person is chosen. Usually the one on the edge. This time not you; everything is fine” – we read in the poem of the Ukrainian writer Victoria Amelinina, who died from the buttress in a cafe in the eastern city of Kramatorsk in 2023.
Smoke floating over Kiev after Russia's night raid, 4 July 2025.PAP/EPA/SERGEY DOLZHENKO/PAP
The corridor gives me a strange sense of security, as if I was in a district drawn chalk that scares monsters.
When on Thursday evening the Russians began to bomb us, I checked if I had a bottle of water, a phone, documents and first aid kit. I was wearing a new pajamas: at least I would look decent if the rescuers had to look for me under the rubble.
Then I hit my forehead … I forgot to buy a whistle again. Only recently did I find out that you should not shout while waiting for the rescue, because the air is wasted and dying before the rescuers arrive.
Dark Terror
Then came another night without sleep, full of acoustic horror and explosion, as well as continuous news: “Is everything right?” sent to people you know and care about. Others try to distract themselves by shopping online or booking hotels.
– Readiness to death at any time makes some people nervous and others wise. Yesterday night during the attack I ate bread with lard, tomato and onion, hugged the cat and ordered new flowers – said psychologist Olga Sołomka, who lives in the Kiev region.
When you sleep on the floor, your body becomes heavy and sometimes it creaks painfully in places where you would never expect it. This time of sleep, which you usually manage to catch, is only enough to fall into a bad mood, so we all try to be patient for ourselves.
A man who helps an older woman cross the destroyed street after Russia's raid to Kiev, 4 July 2025.PAP/EPA/SERGEY DOLZHENKO/PAP
In the morning we still have to get up and go to work because life and immunity must last. Especially now, when we feel that our once the strongest ally leaves us and even helps Russia achieve its long -term goal, which is the exhaustion of the West and destroying us.
Ukraine is still unable to produce its own counterpart of the rocket, which would be so effective in defense against ballistic and hypersonic shells, which Russia, together with drone clouds, uses daily against civil areas. It seems that Europe also has difficulty with helping us.
On Friday, July 4, on the Independence Day of the United States, Russia attacked 550 drones and bullets, which is a new record. After the attack we, Ukrainians, we got up and continued our daily classes. Despite the broken windows, the shops were open, and hospitals treated the wounded, life went on until the next night.
A resident of Kiev repairing the window after a Russian attack, on July 4, 2025.PAP/EPA/SERGEY DOLZHENKO/PAP
– It is interesting that during the day no one asks how the night passed, because everyone is in the same situation. And if you are still there at lunchtime, it means that you are fine-said Władysław FaraPonow, 27-year-old director of the American Studies Institute who lives in the center of the capital.
– Today at eight in the morning I apologized to the dentist for being late. And he said: “There is nothing to talk about, everyone is barely standing on their feet, as if they were partying somewhere until the morning” – added FaraPonow.
Disappointing our strongest ally, the United States, seems to be fulfilled by all conversations. We still call for help, but it seems to be a scream in a vacuum. Our everyday life has become steeped in death, but for many nations that once supported us, our suffering seems to be a problem of someone else.
Of course, we still believe, but with each new attack, which once again is “condemned by the free world”, which still has no courage to impose really strong sanctions on Russia, send more air defense systems or convey frozen asset of the Kremlin, our hope disappears, a drop after a drop.
I’m Ashley Davis as an editor, I’m committed to upholding the highest standards of integrity and accuracy in every piece we publish. My work is driven by curiosity, a passion for truth, and a belief that journalism plays a crucial role in shaping public discourse. I strive to tell stories that not only inform but also inspire action and conversation.
