Advantages of late motherhood – when parents are 40 years old
This month I will be 31 years old, it is a year more than the growing average age of the first motherhood in the United States. In 1992, when I was born, my mother was 40, and my dad 45 and both were much above the average. It was so unusual that at that time my teenage, half -brothers joked that they would choose a college with me, because my parents would run out.
Apart from the occasional amazement, why my parents were 10-15 years older than most other mothers and fathers in my hometown, during growing up I didn't think much about their age.
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Advantages of late parenting. I learned that there are positive sides of waiting for children
With age, I often think about it, especially when I help in taking care of my nephews and consider when I would like to start my own family. Earlier I wanted to have children closer to thirty than forty, but it changed.
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First of all, the stigmatization of “older” parents is not so common today. Celebrities have children over seventy, and especially in New York, I meet people who decided on their first children in their forties all the time. After my own upbringing, I see positives of waiting at this moment.
Due to the fact that my parents were older, I had constant contact with people from various generations who were ready to give me advice and provide inspiration. My oldest brothers and cousins were several dozen years older than me, which from an early age allowed me to come across various life experiences. Before I was born, my grandparents were elderly, so instead of taking me to different places, they told me stories. I value these memories because I owe them to appreciate the teachings and values that made me who I am today.
Late motherhood and travel
In addition to the wisdom I gained thanks to the large generation gap in my family, I experienced the benefits of my parents' success at an early stage of my life. When I was small, my parents were nearly the middle age They had over 20 years of professional experience and savings that provided our family with financial stability.
We went on trips, learned to ski and filled our school days with dance, music lessons and participation in football classes. My parents were in a convenient financial situation because they had time to work and save. At the age of 31 I still create foundations for myself and I am looking for the best place on the professional path, hoping that I will continue to develop for my future children.
Benefits of late parenthood. What my parents taught me
The fact that I remember most from my childhood is my parents' presence. On the fingers of one hand, I can count situations when they rented a weekend babysitter or went for the night without my sister and me. When I was a teenager, he irritated me that they did not lead a richer social life. I remember when I asked my mother why they were both nearby when I saw my friends of my friends actively involved on the social stage.
“I lived in his thirties,” she replied. – I don't have to do that anymore.
Instead, they devoted their time to help me do my homework or hang me and my friend to the cinema.
Because my parents have survived so much in their lives before I appeared in it, I can say that they came up with the lifestyle “I have it somewhere”. They stayed off the beaten track, rarely worried about others and did not compare us to the children of their friends or siblings. They focused on raising us in my own way, which I translated into my own life.
When is the best time to have a child?
Many of my peers have children aged 20, 30, but I don't feel the need to follow them. As I was told, there is no right time to have children, and nothing will prepare you for what will come. From my parents I learned that the right moment for children is the moment when I feel that time has come, regardless of age or national average.
Above there is a translation of the article with American edition of Insider.
Translation: Dorota Salus
