The Trump-Musk conflict watched the whole world. Experts advise on how to get out of conflicts
In recent weeks, the relationship between Elon Musk and Donald Trump has changed at least from cordial to Chłodna. Although their conflict had a different scale and potential effects than the average office quarrel, a well -known question arises: how to deal with a tense relationship at work?
Business Insider asked five experts, career coaches and behavioral neurologists about it, how to constructively get out of a professional conflict.
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– At the beginning, if you can, go for a walk, make yourself coffee, express the frustration in the email, but do not send it, because the next day you will probably regret it – says Kathryn Landis, Executive Coach and Marketing Lecturer and PR at the New York University (NYU).
Once the emotions fall, it is best to immediately arrange a face to face. “Flaming the conflict under the carpet is a common mistake,” warns Marlo Lyons, a career trainer.
– It causes awkwardness, distance and never ends well. Just ask for a short conversation in a face – he advises. – It does not have to be a long debate, but if you care about this relationship, then show it through a quick conversation – he adds.
Don't pretend that nothing happened
– The conversation is worth starting with sensitivity – it is not about exaggerated apologizing resulting from anxiety about work – says Robert Bordone, negotiator and senior lecturer at Harvard Law School.
Experts agree: You need to alleviate the tension, but also honestly say what hurts you.
– If you limit yourself to “my fault, sorry”, you can get out of oppression, but you stay in a situation that does not serve you. And your boss doesn't even know how dissatisfied you are, because you never told him – emphasizes Bordone. – In this way you consolidate a bad pattern that harms you, supervisor and the whole company – he adds.
Ryan Leak, coach and author of the book “How to work with complicated people”, advises that Prepare some neutral phrases beforehand. First: “I can be wrong.”
– When you take this attitude, you signal: “I have my version of events that seems to me real, but I also make room for yours. Because I know that my story is only one side of the coin” – explains Leak.
It is also good to give a conversation tone of cooperation and emphasize that you are in one team – adds behavioral neurologist Joel Salinas. Together with Bordone, he wrote the book “Conflict Resilience: Negotiating disagreement without giving up or giving in”.
Salinas emphasizes that It is worth showing the readiness to learn and the desire to look for a solution for the future.
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Leak proposes a simple formula: – I would like our cooperation to go well.
– Sometimes you have to dare to a somewhat awkward conversation, which we put aside for too long. Say: “I would like our cooperation to be successful. What can we do to achieve this?” – says.
Only then can you go to the specifics – which hurt in conflict and what you need to make the relationship with the boss better.
Let go or start planning to leave
“It is difficult to start such a conversation, but even more difficult comes later: you have to be able to let go,” Lyons argues.
– You have to start the conversation, but then you must not go back to it. Do not mention her at every opportunity. The idea is to rebuild the relationship, re -connect with the company's goal and clear expectations of your work – he says.
Even if you can clean the atmosphere, voltages can come back. When you start to get pissed again, it's worth trying to distance yourself emotionally – suggests Landis from NYU. It also helps … turn the conflict into the game.
– If you know that the other side will immediately press some malice, count how many such comments will be made before he says something nice. Treat it like fun, then it hurts less – he suggests.
– But if it happens, It can be a signal to update the CV Landis warns. And it's always worth taking care of contacts. Going to a short circuit can bring temporary relief, but in some industries the reputation and network of contacts are more valuable than the satisfaction of winning a quarrel. Therefore, even when planning a departure, it is worth keeping the class and thinking long.
Finally, it is worth remembering that the conflicts are natural – says Salinas.
– There is no real relationship without conflict – he sums up.
The above text is a translation with American Business Insider edition
