As a hard -working, lonely woman who turned 30 this year, I “lived with dreams”, like most people. The dream was to earn enough money to pay your own bills, make your own decisions and, which may have been most important, live alone.
In adult life, life alone became a determinant of status for me. When I told people that I live alone, I heard reactions like: “Isn't that great?” or “Oh, I envy you!”
It seems that all my age strive to be the queen of their own castle.
However, I found that this is not all. I decided to leave my studio and live with my friend.
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When I lived alone, I felt isolated
I lived in a studio in Denver for a year. It was a luxurious building with a swimming pool, a jacuzzi and a gym.
I loved that I could walk naked at any time of the day, leave the dishes in the sink at the night and finally watch movies with the spatial sound they deserved. It was my contemporary fairy -tale happy ending.
But after a year of apartment I found myself that it is quite a sad experience. Sure, I could stain the pajamas with ice cream and wear it for three days without any remorse, and everything was where I left it, but It was hard for me to go home where there was complete silence.
I began to imagine a scene from “Sex in a big city”, in which Miranda chokes with her Chinese food. What would happen if I choked on to take away? How much time would it take anyone to find me? Ok, you have to admit that it quickly got gruesome, but this happens when you spend too much time with yourself.
I discovered that I want company, advice, someone who would give me first aid if the need arises.
Sitting alone on my plush sofa (large enough for a family of four), I wondered if the dream that I was told was a great lie. I worked hard, earned money, I had my own apartment, and now I felt paralyzing isolated.
Why did I pay more to feel worse? Suddenly it turned out that living with a friend was not a problem for me.
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I decided to live with my friend
I came across a friend whom I knew for six months and who was looking for someone who would move into her home. We talked for a long time about what roommates would be and what bothers us. After these difficult conversations I decided to introduce myself. I turned my studio into a larger house, a private yard and someone I could go back to.
Compromises are the biggest change compared to life alone and re -live with a roommate. We must have everything properly arranged in the fridge so that shopping does not mix. She wants the blinds to be covered during the day so that the apartment does not heat up. I want a soundbar in the basement to make film marathons with the right sound. She expects to take off shoes when I go home.
It is difficult to change your lifestyle after getting used to life in your own way. But I also discover that I learn more patience and improve my communication. It's much more satisfying than living on your own.
Most importantly, my sense of loneliness and insulation disappeared immediately after moving. Now, after returning from work, I get “good morning” leaves next to the cups of hot tea and hugs. When we go home, we can talk about our day.
Since I decided to live with a roommate, I save money, develop and learn more about myself, and I have company. You can say that I fulfill my dream.
The article is a translation from the American edition of Business Insider.
Translation: Mateusz Albin
