For many users, choosing a potential partner on Tinder or other dating apps happens almost automatically. But a new study shows that this quick and superficial way of selecting people can, over time, affect the way users perceive themselves.
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The research, published in the journal Media Psychologyshows that people who make decisions very quickly, based only on first impressions, tend to have lower self-esteem and feel more insecure in relationships.
Researchers say the problem isn't the dating apps themselves, but the way they make you choose. You swipe after swipe, almost on autopilot, without really stopping at anyone. Unlike dating sites of old, where people would read longer descriptions and take the time to see if they matched with someone, today's apps boil it down to a first impression.
What researchers have discovered about “instinct” swiping
The researchers wanted to find out if dating apps make people feel better about themselves or if, on the contrary, they end up affecting their self-confidence.
More than 400 students participated in the study, who were asked to analyze a different number of people in an application created specifically for the experiment.
Some of them were encouraged to look carefully at each profile and decide based on certain criteria, such as physical appearance or the overall impression left by the person. The others were prompted to choose quickly, almost instinctively, just as often happens on Tinder.
In the end, the researchers analyzed several things: how well the participants felt about themselves, how tired or overwhelmed they felt after the experience, and how they perceived their own value in romantic relationships.
The results showed that people who saw a lot of people felt more mentally tired and became more selective in their choices. However, the important conclusion of the study was different: it was not the number of them that affected self-esteem the most, but the way in which the participants made their decisions.
Those who chose very quickly, based only on first impressions, reported lower levels of self-esteem and less confidence in their own attractiveness compared to participants who analyzed people more carefully.
“Many come to measure their value through matches”
“The problem isn't necessarily Tinder or dating apps, but how we come to use them. The quick swipe turns relationships into a continuous process of evaluation and comparison, and over time many users begin, without realizing it, to measure their personal worth by matches, responses, or the lack of them.” explains for “Adevărul” Ileana Ilie, clinical psychologist and integrative psychotherapist.
Psychologically, she adds, this can become taxing on self-esteem. “The brain very easily interprets the lack of a match or interrupted conversations as a form of personal rejection, even if in reality the reasons are much more complex and relate to the algorithm, timing or superficial behavior specific to the applications. The problem is that repeated exposure to such micro-rejections can change the way people perceive themselves: they become more critical of themselves, more insecure and more dependent on external validation”. is the specialist's opinion.
Another important aspect is constant comparison. On dating apps you always see carefully selected people, optimized photos and the impression that there are always “better options”, says Ileana Ilie.
“Over time, this can create the feeling of having to constantly compete for attention and validation. Many end up judging their attractiveness not by real relationships, but by quick reactions on the app.”she thinks.
What exactly can users do, according to his words? First, pay attention to their emotional state after using the app. “If after 20-30 minutes of swiping they feel more anxious, insecure, or frustrated, that's an important signal. Then dating apps shouldn't be used as a primary source of emotional validation or an antidote to loneliness and boredom. At these times, the negative impact of perceived rejection is much greater.” emphasizes the psychologist.
He also says it helps to change perspective: a match is not a confirmation of self-worth, and the lack of one is not proof that “you're not enough.” “Online dating is a very shallow and fast-paced medium that cannot measure a person's true compatibility, emotional maturity or ability to build a healthy relationship. The healthiest way to use such apps is with clear boundaries and a heavy dose of realism. Tinder can be a tool for getting to know one another, but it becomes dangerous when it starts to be used as a mirror for self-esteem.”
adds Ileana Ilie.
