“New year, new me”. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Every new year comes with a wave of excitement: promises to hit the gym and improve our diet, read more, travel, transform our careers or, in the case of the bravest, even our lives. But the reality hits us quickly: most resolutions are lost within the first few months, if not weeks. And then do we set goals or not? What are the steps to follow? How do we not lose our motivation? Psychotherapist Dorina Stamate answered all these questions for “The Truth”. At the same time, we also analyzed what the studies show.
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The “fresh start” effect
Studies in psychology show that we are prone to set goals at each “beginning”: of a week, a month or a year. The concept has also received a name “fresh start effect”, translated into Romanian as “the effect of the new beginning”. However, no matter how great the enthusiasm is at the beginning, in more than half of the cases it gradually decreases.
What are the most common resolutions?
Professor John C. Norcross, head of the Department of Psychology at the University of Scranton, analyzed New Year's resolutions and their effects over several decades, between 1978 and 2020. And he found a number of similarities in people's New Year's wishes:
- Most (33%) wanted to improve their health and fitness
- 20% wanted to lose weight
- 13% wanted to improve their eating habits
- 9% wanted to develop personally and 5% to improve their mental health and sleep
- The other 20% had, in varying percentages, resolutions related to work, school or quitting smoking
What the studies show
Regarding the success rate, Professor Norcross came to the following conclusions:
- After a week, 75% of people still stick to their resolutions
- After two weeks, the percentage drops to 71%
- Two a month, reach 64%
- After six months, only 46% still stick to the plans established at the beginning of the year
More recent research comes with even more disappointing results. A study conducted in 2024 by Drive Research shows that 88% of people fail in less than two weeks because of unrealistic expectations. And a research done by Forbes Health, which analyzed the responses of 1000 Americans showed that at the end of the year only 6% were still sticking to the set goals.
Psychotherapist's recommendations
“I look at the beginning of the year as a symbolic threshold. It's not magical in itself, but it's a time when many people stop and look at their lives more honestly.” says psychotherapist Dorina Stamate.
I asked her whether or not it's a good idea to set goals in the new year, but also how to set them to avoid disappointment later on. Resolutions can be a useful tool, but only if they are tailored to each person's life and needs, she explains:
“Setting resolutions can be healthy, because it helps us make sense of the direction we're going. Risk occurs when goals are built from pressure, comparison, or unrealistic ideals. Achievable goals start from good self-knowledge. It is important to ask what is possible for me now, in the context of my real life, not an ideal version. A good goal is like a well-fitting shoe, neither too tight because it hurts nor too wide because we trip. Disappointment often occurs when we demand sudden and radical changes, forgetting that the psyche works in small, repeated steps rather than in spectacular leaps.”.
Dorina Stamate, psychotherapist
“Plans are useful as a compass, not a chain”
Another important aspect in setting resolutions is flexibility. Sticking to the plan may not be productive.
“Rigidity is rarely an ally of emotional health. Plans are useful as a compass, not a chain. There are people who feel safe with structure, and others who feel suffocated by it. Neither approach is wrong in itself. The problem comes when we force ourselves to live according to a style that does not suit us. Adapting, changing the plan, making room for the unexpected is not failure, but psychological maturity. Life is not a straight highway, but rather a mountain road, with curves, stops and changes of scenery. Sometimes letting things happen is not lack of direction, but trust in one's own resources”says Dorina Stamate.
Why motivation fails. Meaning, more important
Goal motivation is another concept that comes up whenever we talk about resolutions. This can also disappear because it is misunderstood, explains the psychotherapist:
“Motivation is often misunderstood as a fuel that must always be at its peak. In reality, motivation comes and goes, like the tide. Expecting to always be excited is setting yourself up for failure.”
And then, what helps us in the long run?
“What sustains a long-term goal is not intense motivation, but meaning. When I know why I'm doing something, even on days when I don't feel like it, I can keep going. It helps a lot to connect our goals to personal values and allow ourselves to be human, with good days and bad days. It is also important to recognize progress, however small. Motivation increases when we see ourselves moving, not when we criticize ourselves for not being where we want to be yet.”
Is it okay not to make plans?
Not everyone makes lists (physical or mental) of the things they want to change at the beginning of the year. Some of us prefer to take things as they come. Is this approach correct? Psychotherapist Dorina Stamate says:
“I don't think there is a universally better approach. Making plans or letting life flow are two different ways of relating to control and trust. Some people function better when they have clear direction, benchmarks and goals. For them, a plan brings peace and a sense that they are not being carried along by random events. Others, on the other hand, feel more alive and authentic when they don't set anything rigid and respond rather to what the moment brings. For them, plans can create anxiety and the feeling of losing their freedom.
The problem is not the lack of the plan or the existence of it, but the reason behind the choice. If I don't make plans because I'm afraid of failing, then this approach can mask avoidance. If I make very strict plans because I fear uncertainty, then planning becomes a form of defensive control. Both can become traps. The healthy variant is the one in which the chosen style is conscious and assumed, not dictated by fear”.
Life does not require us to choose between the two options, says the psychotherapist, so balance remains the healthiest:
“Have a general direction, but leave room for adjustment. Know where you are going, without punishing yourself if the road changes. Life doesn't ask us to choose between total control and complete abandonment, but to learn when to hold the map and when to have the courage to let the next step guide us.”
